God spoke to me this week. Yes, in words that I could hear. It was a male voice so it had to be God. He called me on the phone. I know it was God because the caller-I.D. showed “Yahweh, Inc.” I didn’t pick up but he left a message. It was a pitch for supplemental medicare insurance coverage. I don’t know why this didn’t occur to me before, but it makes sense that God is a businessman. After all, God knows everything so it would be logical that he could sell anything to anybody and get rich. Who doesn’t trust God? And we all know that business is the most noble of enterprises and capitalism is endorsed by God as the most perfect of economic and political systems. It says so in the Bible somewhere. I didn’t return the call and I didn’t buy any insurance from Yahweh, Inc. I wonder, am I going to hell now?
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